I have this theory.

Since i started working, everyday/ night i come to work, I drink a Large Tim Hortons Coffee, double double... (well, it started off as a large tea, then progressed to a medium coffee, and now it has become a standard large coffee... but such is the nature of my job...) Anyhow, on with my story, despite my obvious fondess for timmy's,  last september i discovered starbucks, and decided that starbucks coffee is just that much better than tims. (and some of you might dispute it, but its true, at least it is for me). To me, having starbucks is like a treat, because i can't always afford their coffee. (A medium for $1.71, vs. a Large at tims for $1.40...that extra 31 cents and 30mls of coffee adds up, you know?)  but, an addiction is an addiction and starbucks is my vice..  my point though, is not to compare the two, instead, its to tell you how choosing one brand versus the other has an impact on my day. 

The way that i would decide on whether it would be a starbucks day or a timmy's day would depend on how crappy i was feeling.  if i felt reallly bad and tired, i'd go for starbucks.. but if i felt like i could make it through the day/night with a decent shot of caffeine, i'd choose timmy's.... 

I noticed it in February.  On the nights/days that i would start my shift with starbucks... the unit would go wild, or my patient would go wild (meaning become unstable)...for example, I would have a really busy shift, bugging the doctors all the time to give me orders to either bring down a patients high blood pressure, or to give the patient more sedation cause he/she is agitated and climbing out of bed... or it would be a night shift (with minimal support and one doctor on), and i'd be admitting a new patient that requires a lot of energy and emergency tests... or the entire unit would go crazy with a lot of new (really sick admissions).... which is fine, after all, i'm in an ICU.. that's expected... its just that once in awhile it seems like nothing you do for the patient makes it better...especially when its like you don't have enough hands to do it all.... and when you have a patient going nuts cause nothing works, its a little bit frustrating.  The thing is, i never thought anything of it, until one day as i was walking home from work and replaying the night/day in my mind, i could see myself taking a swig of cold starbucks coffee, as i rushed between tasks, or as i stopped to catch up on charting. And that my friends, is when it occurred to me that maybe starbucks was the culprit... so i tested the theory. 

 i didn't have starbucks for a few days... then about a week after my epiphany, i chose to start the night off with a nice cup of starbucks (after all, i do like it better).  i also told my housemate what i thought, so that at the end of our shift, someone else could evaluate my theory as well.

Lo and behold, both of us had a chaotic shift that day. as we were walking home, dragging our feet and gripping about work, i turned to her and i said, "you realize, it really is the starbucks you know?" ... and she said, "YES! its true! you're right!" and we both decided that it was a bad idea for me to ever start a shift with starbucks again... and that i should reserve starbucks for days off. 

That conversation was had at the beginning of march.  It is now the end of July.   

Tonight my friends... I thought to myself, its been a few months... let's rock the boat a bit and start off my first of two nights with some much needed java from starbucks.  My housemate is working with me tonight as well... before we left the house, i told her i wanted starbucks... she raised her brows and me and said, "are you sure?" i said, "well, its been awhile and we've had some quiet nights, let's make it interesting. besides, maybe it'll be okay, then i can start drinking starbucks before work again."....

To make this incredibly long story shorter... let's just say that i am eating my words tonight and wishing i had chosen tim's instead... because as it stands, its been a bit of a hectic night.. because of various factors.. but mostly because my patient is nuts and at the rate he's going... he's gonna end up giving himself an M.I... for those of you in the healthcare profession.. just to give you an idea of what i'm dealing with... i have been giving this man PRN valium 10mg I.V. push for agitation... and the docs, they didn't even give me a max dose... its free for all until his pressure (which sat at 210/110 for an hour, as i was pushing him these meds)... in total, this man gets a standing order of 120mg valium q4h, on top of his PRN dose... needless to say, that's a ridiculous amount... and yet he's still agitated.

so to end my story, if you've read through it all... once again, my theory is correct, and once more, i have proved it necessary to lay off starbucks every time i'm scheduled to work.

thank you for listening. good night.